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19 Things the iPad Will Absolutely Kill

by on April 2nd, 2010

Daniel Eran Dilger from RoughlyDrafted Magazine has written a witty and clever article titled, “iPad, the destroyer: 19 things it will kill.” What is the premise of this lengthy and thorough article? It’s based on the following:

Pundits, particularly of the Windows Enthusiast variety, don’t understand the iPad. It won’t kill the netbook and certainly can’t kill the notebook, they tell us. If only they knew what the iPad was really meant to destroy.

After the above opening paragraph, Daniel goes on to slay every single entity that he believes the iPad will kill. It’s a hilarious article and I found myself giggling uncontrollably like a little school girl (Homer Simpson hee hee hee) as I read the piece from beginning to end. Here are a couple highlights:

Stacks of papers in office meetings. Xerox dutifully churns through forests of trees to create documents that will only ever be glanced at once, if that. Greenpeace doesn’t care, because making a stink won’t help it get donations. All the group can be bothered to announce is that the iPad might access servers that sit on the predominantly coal-fired US electrical grid. Stupid jerks. Anyways, every company that is somebody will be passing around iPads loaded with digital documents. Companies are already ordering fleets of iPads, for the same reason their executives sport MacBook Pros: they say “we’re creative and use high quality stuff.” Reams of papers: you’re dead.

PSP, DS. Oh no, now you’re just being mean. Think of the children. No, let the children think for themselves. Who wants to shell out $30-50 for a dopey game title when you can download cool $1-5 games to your iPod touch on a regular basis or get rich, major games from big publishers for $6-12 on the iPad? They’re beautiful, wildly interactive, and are going to slay Nintendo and Sony in the portable gaming market. Nintendo’s boss says he doesn’t get the iPad. That’s executive speak for “I’m going down with the ship.” The correct answer was: “We’re creating iPad titles based on our beloved franchises as fast as we can.” Ya’ll are dead.


Click here to read the rest of the article. Tell me what you think of it in the comments!

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Posted under: iPad News

  • jpraadt

    I agree with this 100%. The biggest problem I've found is that people who haven't been following this device have no clue what the hell it is, and when they see it and use it, chances are, they'll be all for it.

  • http://www.iphoneincanada.ca Gary

    Exactly. Dave's Top 10 list was hilarious. 3/10 in the list was “what the
    hell is the iPad?”. hehe

    The naysayers will get their hands on the iPad, and change their minds. It's
    the same old story with any Apple product launch. Those who don't like the
    iPad can stick with their awesome Dell netbooks! ftw!

  • Phil

    While te iPad may kill netbooks and ebook viewers temporarily, they won't be gone for ever. Eventually single purpose devices like ebook viewers will be cheap, and thus viable. Expect the Kindle to have a 'comeback' in the early 2020s.

  • Terry

    You're such an annoying fanboy. Can you please provide unbiased, critical reviews? See engadget, gizmodo, etc. Your style of writing and blatant love everything-Apple approach me want to puke sometimes. Why not wait till you actually use the device to decide whether it is good or not.

    Thanks.

  • Terry

    You're such an annoying fanboy. Can you please provide unbiased, critical reviews? See engadget, gizmodo, etc. Your style of writing and blatant love everything-Apple approach me want to puke sometimes. Why not wait till you actually use the device to decide whether it is good or not.

    Thanks.